When you retire to bed, Insert candle up your rear end to the hour you wish to be wakened at. Light the wick and go to sleep on your stomach.
Caution! Take care not to fart in bed as this may blow out your alarm clock!
Guaranteed to make you jump out of bed! Wake up to a warm glowing feeling
Makes a great Gag Gift, Over the Hill Birthday, Party Favor, Birthday, Holiday Stocking Stuffer, White Elephant gift, etc.